conversations with mom

This is an email I received from my mother today:
Heidi,
Consider that you and Chris both took drinking, smoking, and pot as a way to get back at your parents.

What better way to get back at your parents who did the best they knew how and wanted you to have a great life than by not having a great life, by not following their instructions about how you could be healthy.

Love,
Mom

I am having a very emotional response to this theory of hers. Anger being the main emotion. Mostly because it feels like she really hasn't listened to me about my addictions, and I know that she hasn't truly delved into her own addictions to understand them so perhaps it isn't all her fault. The point being from my perspective that she is overlooking the fact that their patterns of behavior in their relationship and their lives were completely unhealthy and unconcious. How could we have learned anything but self-hatred? This email sounds to me as if one of her friends may have suggested this or something . . . I am always suspecting that my Mother is shooting from the hip out of her Landmark dogma and I find myself angry and resentful that my real mother the real person she is doesn't come out because of all the masks she puts up.
But the fact that my parents haven't wondered why we have self-destructed or researched why we would just makes me further feel that they don't really care to know or help. But perhaps they can only go as far as they can go based on where they have gone . . .
some thoughts in the middle of the day