letter to Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Thanks so much for last night, it was a very much needed conversation for me. I can already see how this is really going to help me towards my dreams, and I did meditate for 10 minutes or so last night. My horoscope this week says to listen to my body. I am so excited I will be going to African Dance class Friday night, and my friend Abby will be in town so we will be doing yoga (she's a yoga instructor in NYC, my best friend since 7th grade). I think I am finally in a place again where I can reconnect with me -- oh! And last night my recurring dream shifted quite a bit and something new happened. I have always listened to my dreams but never in my life had one that recurs like this -- and this has been going on since I got pregnant and my life seemed to crumble. It has been very confusing because it involves my college boyfriend with whom I had a very difficult relationship and you might call him my "lost love" because all my dreams with him ended up not working out after our 6-yr relationship. Much of that time I was heavy into drinking, drugs, so I wasn't really present in my life and I have always felt that I really screwed it all up, and often have thought about "what if". Of course they say this is common in pregnant women to reminisce about past men in their lives, but my dreams have been so emotional and gripping and sad and compelling -- all about wanting his approval and love. In the dreams he is gorgeous, untouchable, etc . . . and I despreately want him to love me and be my friend. I am always searching for him and when I wake up I am so sad. I thought I was over him when I got together with Andy, so imagine my surprise when this kept happening. I have deduced that it has a lot to do with my loss of youth, and my feeling of not being heard or liked . . . any insights? I'm sure there is much more . ..

BUt last night in the dream, my ex warmed up to me and we hung out and he didn't leave or run away -- it was wonderful, and we talked and laughed and it was great! So you can see why I feel it is about me reconnecting with myself . . . it was such a relief to have this shift in the dream!

Wonderful work, just wanted to let you know how you have helped me release some things already!

Love,

HEidi