Dear Scott,
I wanted to tell you some of my thoughts after our lesson, as I have been able to process over the past day.
I noticed a very big difference in your breath control, especially when you were singing Amazing Grace, and I hope you can see that this summer you did make a lot of progress. I realize now that I was indeed overlooking the bad breathing habit you had formed while focusing on other things like pitch recognition and repertoire for the recital, and it was time for you to move from building strength to focusing on subtler control. Jared was right on with the things he was having you work with, and I am so glad that he was able to point you in just the right direction. I noticed that your hard work of the summer truly paid off, and I hope you can see that progress more clearly as you move into the fall.
I can see why you are interested in continuing with Jared, he has so much to offer and you have also made great strides working with him. Mary mentioned that it took a lot of courage for me to send you to other teachers and that most people wouldn't ever do that for so many reasons-- I guess it just never occurred to me no to. You are so eager to learn and so disciplined, singing is kind of becoming a lifestyle for you. I would almost venture to call it a "practice". My thought was that learning different approaches or hearing what others have to say could only be beneficial to you, and if that means you move on to other teachers, well, I want you to find your way to your voice however you need to! I really mean that.
So then I started getting a little doubtful of myself. Asking, what the heck do you know anyway, Heidi? I don't have a PHD, I can't play piano (damn my parents! why didin't they force me? ha ha), I just had a baby 6 weeks ago . . . well, you know how these things can go.
But you gave me a great gift on Monday, I had an AHA moment that has continued over the past couple of days. I think I found the secret to my talents that I need to be focusing on, and I wanted to share it with you because you helped me put a finger on it with something you said. You mentioned something to the effect of yes, you learned a lot with Jared, but you have fun with me . . . and I said something about connection, but later on I thought more and realized that maybe you were saying I help you to be inspired .
I hope I am not sticking my foot in my mouth if that is not what you were really saying, but I realized that that is why I love coaching people to sing (I would rather call it coaching). I feel their inspiration, and I am also inspired in the process. You know that part I was saying about how nobody can teach you to sing, you have to find your own voice, and I think that is really true -- but you have to be continually inspired to want to keep going deeper. I don't want to say I inspire my students, but I think I help them find their own inspiration. What is it to "inspire"? Doesn't it literally mean "to breathe in"? (Okay, i didn't look it up, but let's go with it).
I realize now, as life becomes more work and less fun the older I get and the more responsibilities I have, that inspiration is the precious water we are thirsty for. When the well runs dry, I feel like I am not alive anymore. It is also harder to feel inspired because I have my head down in the muck of life and not up in the heavens where music and art and poetry and dance, etc live. But what is the first thing we give up when life gets too hectic ? -- the "extras". I see now that inspiration is food for the soul, and if we don't get it we starve in a very slow and harmful way. Perhaps this is the reason why so many people are depressed and anxious -- their souls are hungry for inspiration and we have forsaken the Arts in our culture as a needless extra.
All that said, I wanted to thank you for continuing to inspire me with your generosity and insight, and for helping me learn this important lesson in my life. I realize now that I must use my gift to inspire in every way . . . and I need to stop holding back wherever that may be happening in my life.
As for the scheduling of lessons with Jared and me together, I don't know how that might work, but I am willing to try it once and explore the possibility, see how it goes, etc. Please feel free to talk with me about anything, I am open to suggestions and I know there is so much for me to learn. Sorry I may not have left enough room to hear some of that on Monday. Let's keep talking.
Okay, thanks for listening to me ramble.
Heidi
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
2 years ago
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